Monday, March 16, 2009

Ugly Subs

Holy Hell, there are some ugly subs out there.

Gave up craiglist and now I am wasting precious time on collarme.com, and it's the exact same people with the exact same usernames, Some of them are OK, but most of the ones who look ok have a blurry picture or cut their faces out. So who really knows, my shitty date Saturday looked kinda like one of those far side comics of a cow, and much of what I am seeing on collarme reminds me of going to the Renaissance Fair in high school, creepy juggler types and pimply computer nerds slinking around the shire, oogling the maidens.

Are there any cute subs I have not offended with my blog? By the way, I in no way mean any disrespect to cows or jugglers. And, in case you wondered - I don't use this blog for internet dating purposes. This is just me telling a bunch of strangers about my ugly dates.

I'm actually not superficial. My funny little troll is not all that attractive, but as I got drunk to know him I developed an attraction, real, pheramonal draw. I really like the way he smells, sometimes...

He's a big guy, he's soft, squat, troll-ish. When I like him, he's like a big doughy baby and I just wanna kiss him and squeeze his balls till he feels sick, but then he forgets valentines day and he's back to being the troll by the bridge. I actually heard from him last week. He send me a text last Monday saying he would like to see me soon. I told him maybe. We have been out of step since Valentines and I just don't see him trying very hard. If only there was a device that denied men orgasms until they send flowers or make lavender creme brule...

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