The Mondays of March

I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling to pull herself out of bed today, it's been a long winter and we are all a bit irritable. We are all spending a bit too much time on the internet (myself included). I'm not saying that my shitty date on Saturday had anything to do with me, in retrospect that person should not be dating. I should have screened more carefully, maybe I should have just seen him in a session - this person clearly has more experience on the pro end of things.

He's a business traveler, he seems to be gone 1/3 of the time or more. He has no time for a relationship, and has no business responding to a personal ad from someone seeking a long term relationship. He should just pay someone until he adjusts his priorities and makes it so he has something to offer.

Of course, guys catch all kinds of bad habits from pros. They expect that all dominant women always dress like we are getting paid hundreds of dollars to have playtime with a business traveler. Had I just had a session with him he would have made damn sure he was on time and didn't need a cab, I would have needed one because I would have been wearing my hot new heels. He would have bought me earrings, and I wouldn't even have to put up with his oogling while I made my selection. And best of all, we both would have had playtime.

How to loose a Dominant in one date

I went on my last craigslist date today, this guy came in from NJ to meet. He wanted to be my cuckold and acted all sincere and eager about it. Subs who are too eager are never very good.

He took me to a nice brunch, it took about a dozen emails before he managed the reservation. As I have mentioned before, I not not consiter a shared meal a tribute. He was there and benefited, he had a steak and oogled me. It was fun for him. Simply having brunch with a dominant woman is not servitude.

he suggested shopping as a after-brunch activity. I was looking at earrings. Stuff from $24-$40, for a specific date He was asking all the right questions, pointing out styles with a long hang that show off my neck, but did he offer to pickup the tab? No, and he even acted exasperated that I was actually going to buy earring when the economy is tanking. Then what did he do? He took a cab back to Penn station.

I'm not looking for a financial slave, I don't want to dominate someone in that way, I want someone who chooses to do what will please me most. Someone who makes sacrifices in his own life yo please me. I understand that we all have to cut back right now, and I have. I brown bag my lunch and shop at Gap. It's all about choices - those earrings cost a wee bit more than round trip cab fare and someone could have easily taken the subway.

This person cannot fulfill the primary duties outlined in my ad because he does not live in Manhattan. he applied to be a cuckold. To prepare me for dates. he'll never be a date because he's not attractive, or particularly interesting - and he knows this. I'm not sure what he's good for, certainly not the position he applied for. Shopping was one of the things he suggested doing for me as a cuckold. Of course, if the task was laundry - he would have been happy to oblige. This is NYC, I send my laundry out and the cost is shockingly close to what I would spend either doing it myself or letting some idiot mess around with my stuff in a laundrymat. Seriously, I'd overpay for soap and spend $10 on machines, or for $13 have it done right and deliviered by people who wash clothes for a living. So, we have someone who is willing to waste my time messing around for whats fun for him (my dirty socks) but cannot put his own desires aside and serve me without serving his own fetish.

It's not about earrings, it's about tribute. He could have paid for the frozen yogurt I stopped for, he clearly didn't want to be in a girly yogurt place, but it was an opportunity for him to show willingness to serve, for a mere $5 he could have tributed me with fancy yogurt. A normal, horny alpha male wishing to earn the affection of the average urban girl would have kept my ears happy, paid for my pinkberry and not tried to make it all about dirty socks. A smart horny guy might even pretend to like pinkberry.

I stopped doing ProDomme sessions because the booking process was exhausting. Screening, managing expectations, dealing with dorks who want nothing more than to waste my time as taking more time than the session. I think this actually took longer to plan, I should have known when he required guidance in making a brunch reservation that this would be a useless date.

Fab post by Kate on How to Respond to a Personal Ad

The only thing I would ad is this, boys need to remember that they are the NOT the ones who need to be careful. Lets not forget who commits 99.9999% of violent crimes- males do. Boys need to keep in mind that they are the health risk, the pervert,the potential stalker. An average dudes worst internet dating scenario is meeting someone unattractive, then maybe that person calls or emails. Not much of a risk. I'm so tired of the trepidation, don't date on the internet if you can't take the risk of not knowing exactly who you might be meeting.

What I want

My current ad on Craig's List

Title - Dominant Dater seeks Submissive Cuck - 29


Lets start with a disclaimer, this is not for everyone. If this is something you are interested in, please put a bit of time and effort into your response - if it's not your thing, or is something you are only curious about please do not waste my time and yours.

This is not something I am looking to try out once, I am seeking something ongoing. This is my second time posting, I posted about a month ago and some responses seemed promising, one even had all his hair but scheduling became an issue. Be clear in your response about your availability; you should have an evening or two a week to dedicate to ME. you should be single, something could develop. you should read the entire ad, maybe more than once, before you answer. DO NOT, tell me about your fetish - this is not about you, it's about what you can do for ME. DO NOT ask for more info about me until you have provided some about yourself.

This is NOT an invitation into my bedroom. Fantasies are just that, and my life is not your fantasy. If you want to fit into my life, you need to conform to my reality.

My reality is this, I am an active dater. I've been with submissive men, in California I lived with one for years, but I have found NYC subs to be too pathetic and demanding (not a good combo btw) to deal with on a serious level. I mostly date men of the tall dark and dominant variety, but I do miss my short, pathetic sub guys.

WHAT I AM SEEKING

It's simple, really. get me ready for my dates. Draw baths, pick up dry cleaning. Arrange my hair and nail appointments, make sure I have clean and sexy lingerie and stockings, and if your really lucky, I'll let you keep dirty pair. Ideally, you can do this in your home - I am NOT seeking a "domestic slave" or "houseboy" - if you ask to serve in my home, you'll be marked as spam and all future emails will go to the spam folder where they will stay, unread.

To be perfectly clear - this is NOT about you indulgently sniffing my shoes. It's about ME, and what you can do to make MY dates and My life run more smoothly. The best fit would be a cuck with his own place in Manhattan, as I am a Manhattanite. If you not single or Manhattan based, think very carefully about what you can offer in this relationship before writing me. Speaking of fit, I am - very, but before you even ask for my picture, you will provide yours.

Proof of willingness to serve required, one line emails will be deleted, unread (thanks to the magic of gmail) and emails with pictures attached will be read before those with nothing attached.

This is NOT a cash arrangement I am not a "pro" looking for "roses". No, I have a totally different profession, but that does not make my stockings free to any curious, would-be stocking-sniffer. If you expect a response, be clear about whay you can do for ME.

Show ME how good you can be to ME if you want ME to take pity on your pathetic submissive self.


Has it been successful? No.

The best to come of it was a note from Kate Webb. In retrospect, I should have never mentioned stockings or baths, as there is no shortage of stocking sniffers who want to hang out in my bathroom. The sub who brought flowers was from this ad, he subsequently broke dates and won't be getting more. I get lots of email from married men who offer me nothing. Threating to mark the houseboys as spam did curb the usual influx of men who offer only that, I get the impression that boys only read what is interesting to them and ignore the rest of the ad.

The Pro's of craiglist is that it's easy, I can post or browse for work. The Con, everything there is used, much of it in bad condition. Because there is no commitment theres is a ton of bullshit.

Shoes of the week

The Lanvin ankle straps are classic, and the YSL "Cage Bootie" well - I'm sure not everyone likes them but...

It's not about you, is it?

Nostalgic for my dungeon days

I have been reading Peridot Ash's blog with fervor. She is an SFBay girl who has worked strait jobs, worked as an escort, and as a ProDomme. I love her writing! The way she is offhanded about sexuality reminds me of back when Diabo Cody was a stripper/blogger (minus the corny worplay). She comes through with just a touch of vunerablity and seems to be able to distance herself from her work and talk about it from a unique perspective.

I love posts like this one, where she likens the unwanted attention of an older man to escort work -


Older guys in bars who engage me in “conversation” always give me the feeling that I’m expected to play the role of an attentive female full of girlish curiousity, wonderment and assent. They are almost never interested in anything I might have to say if it’s not a question that doesn’t pertain to themselves or some little bit of wisdom or knowledge that only they possess and through generous masculine benevolence are willing to share with such a “sweet girl.” The older, more experienced, and more knowledgeable I become myself, the more patronized I feel by these “conversations” with men in bars. Feigning interest and pretending to be stupid so somebody else can feel smart empties out a lot of emotional energy and self esteem. In a sense, it’s work I don’t get paid for.

I thought about this post on my commute today, I've spent much time in the Bay Area and have known many different types of sex industry workers. People have different comfort levels, some people would rather be to topless than let a stranger touch her feet. Dancers I have known say the stage feels safe to them, it's not for me - but it's not for me to judge either.

What I was turning over and over in my head was this, it seems like the biggest difference between her "johns" and "subs" is that johns want her to pretend they are actually interesting.

Reading about some of her sessions made me nostalgic for my fetish work days. For me it was a natural progression out of the foot fetish scene and into something less defined. I never did any hardcore session, no serious pain, no strap-on play. Some day, I'll write about some of my sessions. I was very selective and always had another job, I took only sessions I wanted to take and handled everything myself, as as resulted I never had any unpleasant surprises.

I can tell you this much, it was far easier to find a man to tribute me in a session than it is to find a man to tribute in a traditional setting. Sessions are playtime, and it gave me the opportunity to play with people I would not normally make time for, along with most of the people reading this the vast majority of my sessions were with married or or attached men. Trying to find a a lifestyle match is far more difficult, I am looking for something lasting, but I am still shocked at the general lack of manners in these men, I'm overwhelmed by offers for coffee and houseboy offers.

Coffee is cheap, and I can make it at home. There is no reason for me to venture out in public to meet a stranger for coffee. I understand the desire to confirm that we are "both who we say we are" but there is no need to be cheap about it. Spend an extra few bucks at a bar.

As for houseboys, this is all I am going to say. Domestic servitude is a high honor, not one reserved for strange men I meet on the internet. Housekeepers are bonded and good at what they do, despite the fact that they make very little. So, houseboys are asking to be held in a position of high honor while bringing little value to the relationshop, therefore the answer is always "no".

I'm inspired for a new post, I'll post my ad here then work on an answer guide, something I can spam back at those who send me a copy/pasted fetish resume.

10 things about me

Inspired by a popular facebook note, where users post 25 things that other people don't know about them. When you post, it's your chance to "tag" other users, I'm bending the rules here and only posting ten things, and I am tagging Kate and Irina


1) I have never seen the inside of a gym

2) I can still fit into my high school cheerleading uniform, my first modeling job (in my mid-20's) was Jr's clothing.

3) I'm a Charlotte, although I have worked $300 shoes with $10 dresses I am not a Carrie. My closet overfloweth, and I do write this from my mac laptop, in the big apple but at my core - I am a suburban girl. I don't sleep around, I don't carry condoms in my purse, I believe in true love, traditional values, family life and the locked C's of Chanel.

4) I'm a big fan of pajamas, robes, slippers and such. NYC is a walking city, and often what I wear in my daily life is not terribly comfortable. As soon as I get home, I take that shit off. I do not, however wear my pajamas outside, ever.

5) I shop at the gap, I'm a lover of fashion - and I tend to like bold pieces, so this is a shocker to some but, my basics are often very basic. Comfy too.

6) I can cook, I'm actually quite domestic. I can sew too. Martha Stewart is a Dominant Diva (see 7)

7) The women who have inspired my dominant nature have been, for the most part - mothers of people I knew growing up, including my own.

5) I am not a force to be fucked with

9) I'm double jointed almost everywhere, I can get into some crazy yoga positions, but - because I have been lazy about my yoga practice this year (I have gone to class exactly once) I cannot, at present, touch my perfect toes (without being my knees)

10) I am from a large family, maybe that has something to do with my dominant nature, too much sharing growing up.