Friday, April 24, 2009

Am I a frustrated middle-aged man?

I'm frustrated about more than my relationships, dating is inherantly frustrating but all things consitered, it's going very smoothly, I am using a site that does a fair amount of screening and the people on the site are committed to searching for a primary relationship and It's made a huge difference.

I'm frustrated about my job, I have been there a year with no raise in sight. I'm not being challenged, my skills are not being exploited and I am not working in an industry that interests me. At All. I feel like I am spinning my wheels. My day job not at all creative. I'm coming from a creative background and took it because I had been searching for months. I send out resumes, I'm not getting anything back, even from agencies.

It's rare that I think much about the submissive experience. I respect boundaries but have been exposed to submissive men long enough that (for the most part) I have stopped wondering what it's like.

Most of the self-identified subs I have encountered are middle aged, married men. Many seem to have resigned themselves to their positions unhappily, stuck in jobs or marriages that do no not make them happy under circumstances that discourage change. I feel, quite suddenly like a middle-aged man who is curious about getting spanked. I don't feel submissive, I don't want to serve or have someone above me but I am sad, and I can't seem to get sad enough to be done with it. I'm too optimistic to stay sad, it has to get better - so I'm up and down,and thats almost worse. For the first time in my life I see the draw of having someone put you over the knee and let it fly till you are crying about absolutely everything.

I'm not going to go do it, but I'm curious if anyone reading has had the desire to loose control sexually triggered by a sense of frustration or sadness from outside events.

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