Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The State of the Industry
I'm taking a much-needed mental health day from my day job, I'm on niteflirt for a rare weekday afternoon.
It's been a year since I did a session, it's been years since I have been seeing subs reguarly, many years. A few steadies contact me from time to time and I would see them in a sweet little rental space I first visited for a foot fetish party circa 2002.
The space was home-away-from-home to a collective of indie ProDommes. For a dungeon, it's surprisingly warm. There were cats lolling around, and because everyone handles her own business, there was no competition. Best of all, it's owned and run by woman. I was there almost a year ago to date, May 08 and everyone was buzzing about the fetish raids that have totally changed the NYC fetish industry. I started the job I am at now, and as usual don't have much contact with the fetish scene. I heard about the raids from a girl at the collective space when I did my session, I do remember hearing something about the foot fetish parties getting broken up but that was bound to happen, I saw illegal drug use happening at those parties and they were getting too popular. Non-footfetishists were showing up to check out the girls. Apparently, it's the end of an era in NYC fetish. I just did a web search on "dungeon busts nyc" and found this I had no idea Rapture took a hit, I had never visted but heard it was an awesome woman-owned space.
Someone contacted me about a session, I called -no answer, then emailed the collective for a rental and got an email back saying they "have not done rentals for some time". I'm crushed, I loved going to the collective. The cats, the girls, the soho location that begged a bauble for me after every session. The shady diner that served pancakes all day across the street. That crappy elevator. The pearls or wisdom and unsubtle humor from older Dommes, "The best thing about a sissy, is you KNOW he's going to want a buttfucking eventually". Overheard at the dungeon could be its own blog.
Twards the end of last year I correponded with a D/s lifestyle couple who have a dungeon in their apartment, and live in my neighborhood. The boy end of the couple is always who emails me, and he's quite fourthcoming with the photos, in fact, he send sme photos of their switchy bondage parties with everyones face included and really, really wants to be facebook buddies. I as a rule will not attend any fetish event that does not specifically forbid photography, and I don't add anyone I know from the fetish scene on facebook. I've had about a dozen emails from this guy, where he dumps a dozen hi-rez images into my inbox and then tells me to feel free to ad him on myspace and the ever-familiar "I'd like to see who I am talking to". I had to explain, explicitly that I am seeking to rent space, not to join a social scene and asked that he please not be offended that I don't want to be facebook buddies, I just want to do business. There is an unspoken rule in BDSM that we do not use or distribute our real name, and I get a sinking suspicion that he's angling at that - he keeps sending me invites from his real-name facebook account.
As a result, I'm not even excited about the prospect of a session. I've got this other guy to manage, and he clearly wants something from me. I show up for my sessions with a gym bag, and get ready at my rental space. I'm not at all interested in having some fetishy dude observe my transformation, and another unspoken rule is that you make sure your sub does not have contact with other males - I don't know how to broach this with him. The energy in male-owned dungeons in frenetic, without an alpha female defining the direction of things it gets funny. Bottom line he has added another element to my session, and taken the fun out. Rather than focusing on what to wear, and what I need to prepare for my session I have to worry about managing this person who I am also paying.
Any ladies out there have a spare dungeon to rent?
Posted by DIYDomme at 8:10 AM