Saturday, March 14, 2009

How to loose a Dominant in one date

I went on my last craigslist date today, this guy came in from NJ to meet. He wanted to be my cuckold and acted all sincere and eager about it. Subs who are too eager are never very good.

He took me to a nice brunch, it took about a dozen emails before he managed the reservation. As I have mentioned before, I not not consiter a shared meal a tribute. He was there and benefited, he had a steak and oogled me. It was fun for him. Simply having brunch with a dominant woman is not servitude.

he suggested shopping as a after-brunch activity. I was looking at earrings. Stuff from $24-$40, for a specific date He was asking all the right questions, pointing out styles with a long hang that show off my neck, but did he offer to pickup the tab? No, and he even acted exasperated that I was actually going to buy earring when the economy is tanking. Then what did he do? He took a cab back to Penn station.

I'm not looking for a financial slave, I don't want to dominate someone in that way, I want someone who chooses to do what will please me most. Someone who makes sacrifices in his own life yo please me. I understand that we all have to cut back right now, and I have. I brown bag my lunch and shop at Gap. It's all about choices - those earrings cost a wee bit more than round trip cab fare and someone could have easily taken the subway.

This person cannot fulfill the primary duties outlined in my ad because he does not live in Manhattan. he applied to be a cuckold. To prepare me for dates. he'll never be a date because he's not attractive, or particularly interesting - and he knows this. I'm not sure what he's good for, certainly not the position he applied for. Shopping was one of the things he suggested doing for me as a cuckold. Of course, if the task was laundry - he would have been happy to oblige. This is NYC, I send my laundry out and the cost is shockingly close to what I would spend either doing it myself or letting some idiot mess around with my stuff in a laundrymat. Seriously, I'd overpay for soap and spend $10 on machines, or for $13 have it done right and deliviered by people who wash clothes for a living. So, we have someone who is willing to waste my time messing around for whats fun for him (my dirty socks) but cannot put his own desires aside and serve me without serving his own fetish.

It's not about earrings, it's about tribute. He could have paid for the frozen yogurt I stopped for, he clearly didn't want to be in a girly yogurt place, but it was an opportunity for him to show willingness to serve, for a mere $5 he could have tributed me with fancy yogurt. A normal, horny alpha male wishing to earn the affection of the average urban girl would have kept my ears happy, paid for my pinkberry and not tried to make it all about dirty socks. A smart horny guy might even pretend to like pinkberry.

I stopped doing ProDomme sessions because the booking process was exhausting. Screening, managing expectations, dealing with dorks who want nothing more than to waste my time as taking more time than the session. I think this actually took longer to plan, I should have known when he required guidance in making a brunch reservation that this would be a useless date.

Fab post by Kate on How to Respond to a Personal Ad

The only thing I would ad is this, boys need to remember that they are the NOT the ones who need to be careful. Lets not forget who commits 99.9999% of violent crimes- males do. Boys need to keep in mind that they are the health risk, the pervert,the potential stalker. An average dudes worst internet dating scenario is meeting someone unattractive, then maybe that person calls or emails. Not much of a risk. I'm so tired of the trepidation, don't date on the internet if you can't take the risk of not knowing exactly who you might be meeting.

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