Thursday, March 5, 2009
Nostalgic for my dungeon days
I have been reading Peridot Ash's blog with fervor. She is an SFBay girl who has worked strait jobs, worked as an escort, and as a ProDomme. I love her writing! The way she is offhanded about sexuality reminds me of back when Diabo Cody was a stripper/blogger (minus the corny worplay). She comes through with just a touch of vunerablity and seems to be able to distance herself from her work and talk about it from a unique perspective.
I love posts like this one, where she likens the unwanted attention of an older man to escort work -
Older guys in bars who engage me in “conversation” always give me the feeling that I’m expected to play the role of an attentive female full of girlish curiousity, wonderment and assent. They are almost never interested in anything I might have to say if it’s not a question that doesn’t pertain to themselves or some little bit of wisdom or knowledge that only they possess and through generous masculine benevolence are willing to share with such a “sweet girl.” The older, more experienced, and more knowledgeable I become myself, the more patronized I feel by these “conversations” with men in bars. Feigning interest and pretending to be stupid so somebody else can feel smart empties out a lot of emotional energy and self esteem. In a sense, it’s work I don’t get paid for.
I thought about this post on my commute today, I've spent much time in the Bay Area and have known many different types of sex industry workers. People have different comfort levels, some people would rather be to topless than let a stranger touch her feet. Dancers I have known say the stage feels safe to them, it's not for me - but it's not for me to judge either.
What I was turning over and over in my head was this, it seems like the biggest difference between her "johns" and "subs" is that johns want her to pretend they are actually interesting.
Reading about some of her sessions made me nostalgic for my fetish work days. For me it was a natural progression out of the foot fetish scene and into something less defined. I never did any hardcore session, no serious pain, no strap-on play. Some day, I'll write about some of my sessions. I was very selective and always had another job, I took only sessions I wanted to take and handled everything myself, as as resulted I never had any unpleasant surprises.
I can tell you this much, it was far easier to find a man to tribute me in a session than it is to find a man to tribute in a traditional setting. Sessions are playtime, and it gave me the opportunity to play with people I would not normally make time for, along with most of the people reading this the vast majority of my sessions were with married or or attached men. Trying to find a a lifestyle match is far more difficult, I am looking for something lasting, but I am still shocked at the general lack of manners in these men, I'm overwhelmed by offers for coffee and houseboy offers.
Coffee is cheap, and I can make it at home. There is no reason for me to venture out in public to meet a stranger for coffee. I understand the desire to confirm that we are "both who we say we are" but there is no need to be cheap about it. Spend an extra few bucks at a bar.
As for houseboys, this is all I am going to say. Domestic servitude is a high honor, not one reserved for strange men I meet on the internet. Housekeepers are bonded and good at what they do, despite the fact that they make very little. So, houseboys are asking to be held in a position of high honor while bringing little value to the relationshop, therefore the answer is always "no".
I'm inspired for a new post, I'll post my ad here then work on an answer guide, something I can spam back at those who send me a copy/pasted fetish resume.
Posted by DIYDomme at 3:23 PM